Conker's Bad Fur Day.

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Slumdog Millionaire.

FAN, MEET S**T. S**T, FAN.

Take a look at the US Dollar to Canadian Dollar graph below and tell me that even remotely LOOKS like the US Dollar has a chance to survive make it's time hahaha. Here's the original graph.

http://www.bankofcanada.ca/fx/iexe0102 .gif
Okay, so maybe the graph skews it a bit, but that slope is much steeper than before. In fact it's EPIC.
(And in retrospect, *why* didn't I buy Crash Proof at the low point... Well, it's still a good $34 CDN well spent.)

But honestly, after the dollar rose up in June, I was like, huh, okay, maybe the US economy really is recovering thanks to Obama. I could literally feel myself starting to lean towards the left - like, maybe it was high blood pressure or something. I was in Currency Complacency, if you will. So imagine my HEART ATTACK when I just happened to stumble across the Bank of Canada Exchange Rates.

I only just found out 15 minutes ago, so yes do excuse my HYPERINFLATION HYPERACTIVITY. So I'll fix the typoes LATER. Typos. Typoes? Typos.

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PETER SCHIZZLE AND BLING BASED CURRENCY

The title of this post is a reference to Peter Schiff. That Austrian economist guy who was the economic advisor behind Ron Lawl's 2008 campaign. He also wrote Crash Proof: How to Profit from the Coming Economic Collapse. Yes, COMING. Oh and it came HARD. RIGHT ALL OVER YOUR... Yes, he wrote that book in February 2007, nine months before the 'official' recession and more than a YEAR before anyone noticed the recession.

Peter Schiff is like, Nostradamus. Except that Schiff accurately predicted the apocalypse. Here's a quote from his book's epilogue.... *opens it*

"The real estate bubble, already losing air, could pop first, sending the economy quickly into recession, which could cause a run on the dollar, force up long-term interest rates, create hyperinflation, and force defaults, refinancing, or other settlements with respect to personal and national debt."

Yeah, it's spooky. So what does Schiff recommend we do?
-sell your real estate stocks; (too late for THAT...)
-buy gold;
-stop borrowing crappy credit stuff;
-liquid... stocks or something
-uh...
-Yeah I skimmed over it a little bit. Shaddup.

On a side note, this stuff is probably directed mainly towards an American audience. I don't think Canadians like me aren't going to be very sad when they found out they'll soon be able to buy American stuff for a half the price. Oh btw, Schiff's also writing a sequel, "Crash Proof 2.0: How to Profit From THE Economic Collapse".

By the time it comes out, I can buy it with CANADIAN money lying on the street!

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FINGERPOINTING

Supply of money goes up, monetary value goes down? I dunno. I would've thought the extra supply would have countered by demand for US Dollars, because people want their loans repaid and people would want to start saving money. But apparently either that's not the case, or it is but just is no match for a one trillion plus dollar stimulus (in total) and a... *checks wiki*

DOUBLE HEART ATTACK.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fede ral_Funds_Rate_(effective).svg
Holy crap, I thought the Zero Fed Funds Rate was just a JOKE!...
Like, is there even a decimal point?
Why do I find out these things like, WAY too late? (Btw, I'm sure waiting to see MJ's new concert, it's gonna be great! I wonder how Oxiclean's doing, too.)

So yes, Obama and Bernanke are in the below graph because they deserve it. Also, they're going to be in :the game 2: ... The Messiah and Roflcopter Ben.

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That's all I have to b**ch about for now. Wow, I feel a LOT better.
~Nutcasenightmare

Yup, still working on :the game 2: - I've already laid down more or less all the level ideas, have already drawn 38 characters, and revamped the graphics by a tonne. But because I'm a politician who just wants to lie to the public, instead of a game demo, here's a photo op of Kim Jong Il being cool.

But here's the thing: every time I think I have a level all planned out, either some news event comes up that forces me to change it, (e.g. GM's bankruptcy) or something goes out of the news, becoming a topic nobody cares about. (e.g. mexican drug cartels)

Most recent satire-killer? Rumours of Kim Jong Il having pancreatic cancer.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/200 9/07/13/2624737.htm?section=world
It's not necessarily bad that he dies, but it's not like North Korea's going to stop freaking the world out.

If Kim Jong Il dies, the 'symbolism' will cause people to think as the North Korean threat as over, because Kim Jong Un is nowhere nearly as cool. If Kim Jong Il dies, my idea for having Kimmy laugh to the WTFBOOM soundtrack might lose some of its paunch.

OH WELL LIFE GOES ON.
---------Kim doesn't look at explosions
---------The missiles are shit, but he still promises doom
---------Threaten America with a roarin' explosion
---------And don't think about the people you WTFBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM

In the end we all go to heaven
Media hell is only for the living like you
When we are dead so are our sins
No one criticizes the gone, it's taboo.

We are all famous when we're dead.

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Michael Jackson - dead at age 50.

Billy Mays - dead at age 50.

Madonna - doesn't stand a chance.

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EDIT: Yes I know about Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon. But they didn't die at 50 years old. The joke is that Billy Mays and MJ died at 50 years old, and so will Madonna. LAUGH. THEY HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE THEIR TIME. HA HA HA.

he sure is.

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-News Update: Who's been bankruptured so far?-
Chrysler: TERMINATED - That's one thing they couldn't Dodge.
GM: TERMINATED - But they promise that in a couple of months, "I'll Be Back".

The only one of the American Big Three that hasn't been LOAN PWND is Ford. Now, because I'm bored and because I *did* kind of make a Flash mocking the Big Three... (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /476704)

...Here's a lil' economics tale about what ***might*** happen with Ford in the upcoming months.
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------- Tales of Economics: Ford Crying Out Loud ---------

Now with GM and Chrysler out of the way, Ford is going to be like... a spoiled only child or something. Seriously, did you see how Ford's stock just *happened* to go up when GM got pwnt? That was almost as awesome as the time swine flu caused every single public medical company to jizz in their pants.

Naturally, the American public will also start being protective of Ford - every single Japanese person may wake up each morning with a jujitsu routine, but not even a gallon of pure kick-ass can defeat the tariffs that will be imposed to placate teh Ford, made in the USA. Of course, they're not going to CALL it tariffs. Probably something more along the lines of:

"It is imperative -- way past time, in fact -- for America to be as mercantilist [meaning reducing imports - probably with tariffs] as are our trading partners. We must forcefully counter the illegal subsidies, [uh... bailouts?] the manipulated currency exchange rates [uh... federal reserve and inflation??] and the unfair labor and environmental practices that some of them are employing to strike at our economy.[Hey, you're the country with bigass auto worker unions and corn ethanol subsidies.]"
~Leo Hindry, current economic advisor to Prez Brock Obama.

Oh yes, Ford would love nothing more than these tariffs to reduce competition from Honda, Nissan, Toyota, and those other Japanese cars that you can recharge by plugging into your iPhone or something. This will pretty much just hand over to Ford a monopoly status. (Isn't it ironic how government, the enforcer of antitrust laws, produces the most monopolies?)

Ford will take advantage of their effectively coercive-monopoly status - I mean, who wouldn't? I like big bucks I cannot lie, you other brokers can't deny. When crap slaps the fan, it's time for the government to face the music, fess up, and start blaming someone else. My money's on blaming the free market. (The alternative, blaming Iraq and pwning them over oil, just isn't as popular anymoar.)

----INTERMISSION----

Now, there's something called regulatory capture. It's basically a nice euphemism for 'lobbyists are going to rape your wallet and not use protection'. Lobbyists lobby because they get huge benefits, while the costs are spread out across the public. For example, if I were a rich white old guy with friends in Parliament, I could lobby the Canadian government to give me one BEEYLUN dollars, which would cost each individual taxpayer only about $2.50 per month over a year.

Naturally, I would personally have quite an incentive to lobby the government for this, but who's going to lobby back, over a measly $2.50 lost per month? Every lobbyist knows this, and eventually all these $2.50s pile up on the taxpayer until *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*. Government is pretty much like a tragedy of the commons - again ironic if government is supposed to CONTROL externalities and market failures.

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So the American government will decide to regulate Ford, and possibly, even nationalize Ford. Regulatory capture takes over, and now not only is Ford a monopoly, it's got the government right in its back pocket. The bureaucratic costs will explode into a million pieces, cars will cost you the arm and leg you could have ridden a bicycle with, Ron Paul will get a heart attack, the Japanese will start planning a remake of Pearl Harbour with kamikaze Priuses, and little kittens will die in a fire.

And all because someone made a hybrid. Damn you.

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Next time on Tales of Economics, it's a heartwarming story about how Ben Bernanke fell in like with Zimbabwe's economic policies. And by 'fell in like', I mean Ben Bernanke likes a good ol' stimulus package down there in his private sector. He also has an inflation fetish.

CANADA: the game
(AKA the 2010 winter lolympics)

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Contrary to popular belief, Canada is not all maple hockey pucks and snowflake-flavoured skittles - we have our problems. A slow, inefficient health care, a strong history of pissing off natives, and just a few months ago, a coalition government determined to tear off Stephen Harper's balls. At least we can salvage some of our national pride back when the American economy totally stagflates.

But there is something Canadians can take pride in now, and that is the 2010 Winter Olympics, conveniently planned during a global economic crisis, yippee. But hey, we're a hell lot less controversial than Beijing. Here's the official video for the 2010 Winter Olympics' mascots:

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Does anyone else find Quatchi disturbing? I mean... he takes a picture of some kids and the next moment all's left is an abandoned net, a broken hockey stick, and a VERY. HAPPY. QUATCHI. I mean what the hell?! The mascot looks enough like Pedobear as it is, dammit!...

Yes, I AM in the process of making :the game 2: (working title), and I'd thought I'd do an update on it.
Currently, I'm in the midst of compiling level ideas and drawing characters for :the game 2: - maybe I'll set up a dev blog and upload pics from time to time. Here's one pic.

Below are the mascots drawn :the game: style, who will be featured in CANADA: the game. Oh yes, there will be blood. Download a textless version for a desktop background! NOW!!!!11!1!!!

(from left to right, Miga, Sumi, Mukmuk, and Quatchi.)

Hello, Pico!...

...And goodbye, Chrysler!
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/In ternational-Business/Fiat-Chrysler-dea l-will-be-known-soon-/articleshow/4460 439.cms

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Meanwhile, at Chrysler's headquarters, a little red-headed kid in a green shirt, with a gun in one hand and a machete in the other, bursts into the CEO's room and 'cuts back' on costs.

Being one of the nominees of the Tank Award, to me there was an extra layer of humour and irony in that video, "It's a Tank". Well now I know where it comes from, don't I? Knowledge is Power. (And Power Corrupts.)

It's a Tank!

After a while, I realized that P-Bot was COAUTHORED in the submission. Now, that vid is absolutely hilarious, and I freaking loved it. I'm sure that it's going to get a Daily and a Top Weekly! =) But that's what disturbs me a little. The Daily 1st, chosen by P-Bot, will be awarded to "It's a Tank", with P-Bot as coauthor.

An automated bot will actually win awards, the people who don't have any will get more depressed, corruption will fill the system, all submissions with prime numbers will be blammed, yet another version of Flash will come out, every news post will contain tpyos, the entire interwebz will explode, and that explosion will eventually implode on itself.

Oh c'mon, someone had to point it out.

Point It Out Man, Awaaaay!
~Nutcasenightmare

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Well what did I tell you? Daily 1st. Expect it to also get Weekly 1st.

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/10 29670

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Okay it got Weekly 2nd. Maybe the interwebz won't collapse on itself after all. Still, a fictitious being winning two trophies, more than the majority of people here on Newgrounds. It's still creepy.

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Yay! I didn't win! Thanks, Brad Borne! (jk, I loved Fancy Pants Adventures...)

From my "A Big Three Xmas" submission, other than to get a microphone that wasn't bought third-hand, I learnt three very important lessons about doing political satire:

1) Upload it on the DAY the event in question happens.
2) Don't randomly place furries in it.
3) Don't mix it up with unnecessary internet memes.

That said, screw it. Vote for Anarchist, my upcoming webcomic starting March 31st, conveniently when GM and Chrysler have to prove they're 'viable' or something. [EDIT: Know what? Screw it. Ain't doin' it.]

And yes, the comic is quite tall. Scott McCloud would be proud.

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It was really fun watching Obama's inauguration streamed over the Internet LIVE. It's just that wonderful feeling of knowing you're a first-hand witness to a major positive change for racial equality. (And a few leaps backward for LGBT rights.) There was also the thrill of worrying shitless that some ass would assassinate him.

It was hilarious how Bush just sat there blinking. I also thought the inauguration was quite good right up until Rick Warren showed up. Rick was just a complete hypocrite, but at least it wasn't as bad as that benediction. Seriously... let the yellow... MELLOW.

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Oh and my NG Certificate for my Monthly Award for :the game: just came in. Thanks Tom!